Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Time for self

I love being the centre of repulsion. I love to spend time with myself. I love the silence of an eerie night. I love to remember disasters. I love to experience things out of the way. I love the wind blowing past me. The sound of silence. The music of loneliness. The happiness of failure. I love to innovate. Think, at times. I love doing nothing. I love dressing up for no reason at all. I love to refuse invites to parties. I love to be the maniac that I am. Sleeping. Dreaming. Feeling lost.
I love to feel weird about doing a particular job. It tells me I’m different. I love being different. I love hot food, minus the onions. I love to play scrabble endlessly. I love to dream of a time when I’ll have time. I love to watch television, more because it makes me forget. I love to forget things, faces, names, people…
I love sad endings, in books, stories, films. I love to be someone else. I love to analyze myself. I love myself. I love those stereotypical soaps on TV. I love to correlate. I love the feeling of being protected. I love to be cared for. I love to talk, sometimes. I love to just laugh off life till tears squeeze out. I love the irony in my laugh. I love the word – depressed. I love words. I love to write. I love the computer. I love to sit and stare out into the night. I love to talk to the moon. I love to feel the presence of God.
Miracles. Black magic. Life after death. Sun signs. Horoscopes. Future.
I love the thought of running away. I love to bicker, fight and shout, when I’m angry. I love to fantasize. I love to live in a dream world. I love to not admit, and face reality. I love the idea of schizophrenia. I love to understand emotions, intricately. I love the feeling of love. I love that thumping heart beat. I love the red in my cheeks. I love to think about stuff of MY choice. I love life, MY way. Lazing around. Sleeping for eternity. The air conditioner. My bed. My house. The coziness. The food. Momos.
Pizzas. Simple rice. Those dinner conversations. The feeling of being required.

I love looking at the dark side of things. I love to have few people around me. I love to think of old jokes, and still find them funny. I love to preserve what I write. I love to see photographs, observe. I love to think of people. I love to judge. I love being partial. I love crying at night. I love to wake up late. I love postponing. I love to never do some things. I love the feeling of carrying an empty bag to school. I love to go to school for a particular reason a particular day. I love to show people who care, I care. I love to spend time lavishly. I love being pampered. I love the luxury of a day all for myself. I love being online. I love to compete with my own messaging speed. I love games. I love to read HT City over a cup of brewing, hot, self made coffee. I love to taste food. I love to stand in my balcony. I love to doze off in my car.
I love to feel incomplete, as it helps me live on.
I love to live life MY way – THIS way.

P.S. : People, I don't have much to say, really. But I'm SO glad that I'm finally posting!! I mean, I've been breaking my head over this computer for the past two days, so you know...
Relief!

9 comments:

Radhika Saxena said...

Woah! I like. Beautiful! :D

Anonymous said...

Wow.
Really, I like it!
the idea, Prerna had done something similar and she told me that it felt good in the end, did it?

Disha said...

I love hot food, minus the onions
Haw! I love onions :D
And most of the things that you love are the ones that I do too :)
Oh! And, I don't really like sad endings. :| My life is a result of sad endings compiled together, so don't think can take any more of 'em :P
And, and, tum, ladki, bahut accha likhti ho. Melikes =)
*super polar bear hug*

¶ЯёŖηΛ said...

Pagirl. ;)
Beautiful!Congratulations for the success of being yourself. :D

Abhilasha said...

rads: Hey, thanks :)

aanchal: Aww..thanks man...and yes, it feels real good at the end.I only stopped to catch breath..else I would be still writing it, really :)
It feels great...
:)

dish: You love onions? Jeez, they have such a peculiar smell, and then they spoil the taste of every thing else on the plate. Yuck.
Atleast as garnishing, i HATE onions. Which is strange, as we do like similar stuff...:0
And dear, main sirf thoda sa accha likhti hoon...bahut nahi :p
*Koala bear hug :P*

Prerhu: That was so good a pun! Pagirl, i like it!!
Thanks.
And really, it was my pleasure..
Oh, I wish such tags keep coming along...

:)

Akanksha said...

This thing tells a lot about u..
Very nicely written:)

Thor said...

and shes back...with a bang...
and hope she stays here for a while :D

Abhilasha said...

aki: hey, really? I thought u knew quite a lot of it..abyway, thanks!

thor: awww, i'm pleased!
yay!!
thanks!

Anonymous said...

perfect!!!!!!
its like u wrote it out for me!!!

I miss you lots n lots n lotsssssss