Monday, August 10, 2009

The Queen of Materialism

[As you must have guessed, IIT-D diaries has been called off. The obvious reason is, that the author herself got bored of it. She doesn't think IIT excites her enough to write about it.]

I always thought I was one person who never really wanted all those materialistic comforts, and was more on the spiritual sides. If that's what you call it. For this post, anyway. But perhaps I didn't know myself too well.

Surprisingly, one single event made the'Materialistic Me' wriggle out of my deepest doors of my mind, and stand right out, and shout, 'I was always here, honey!'

So. This is to announce the official arrival of the Queen of Materialism.

Her speech is as follows:

Hi all. Well, as you all probably have been told by my other half, I am indeed the person who craves for every bit of materialistic happiness possible. For quite some time, Spiritual Me had been dominating over me, and had begun to think that I possibly didn't exist. However, a change in the life suddenly woke Her up, and I've got a chance to prove my existence.

Here's what I have to say:

1. I cannot live without the luxury of an air conditioner. I have tried and tried and tried, but sorry, I'm tailor made to sleep with a bedsheet covering all of me, and basking in the cool blows of the A/C.

2. I cannot STAND the sight of horribly cooked food, let alone the thought of eating it. Spiritual Me had entirely convinced herself that she would do perfectly fine, and in the worst case she could OBVIOUSLY go to the canteen. But, yours truly, is so used to yummy food being served to her (preferably home cooked), that she is too lazy/haughty to do either. She'd rather starve herself by skipping meal after meal than stoop down to such a low level, as compromising on food. Never. Hah, Spiritual Me, my ass.

3. I hate the fact that I'm not sleeping in MY room, in the comfort of MY bed, WITH my mom on one side and my sister on the other. Spiritual Me would argue that part of this is her contribution, but no. I steal the entire credit for it, and I won't provide any reasons for it.

4. I cannot adjust with people who are NOT my friends. I choose my friends on a very random but fixed basis, and I just CANNOT think of every person I meet as a friend. I cannot sweet talk for more than five minutes to ANYONE, so this kind of life is clearly not working out for me.

5. I hate the fact that I have to walk half a kilometer back and forth, and there are no rickshaws to be seen ANYWHERE when I need them. I hate walking, my legs are too used to be not-in-much-use. Just hate it.

6. I just cant understand why I must do everything myself. Oh, yes, this is about growing up, right? Well then, I don't wanna grow up. I like buying books when there's a fixed day assigned to me and I'm just expected to say the name of the book and the shopkeeper is kind enough to bring it out for me. Library business is such a boring job.

7. How can I forget, I cannot LIVE without the television. NO. And that too, JUST as I have it in my house, with a bed near by where I can lie down in untmost relaxation and watch Star Movies forever and ever. Amen.

When I was deprived of all this, my ego was hurt, and I came out in the open. These are just the few things on which I cannot compromise. Spiritual Me has gone for a holiday. I'll update soon and let you know about the other things that have been snatched from me.

God save me from such drudgery.

P.S. You must have guessed what that single event is. Yes, dearies, it is IIT.


The Dramaqueen said...

Lasha, hello, are you listening?

You can give up the hostel and move back home!

It'll just be a pain travelling back and forth each day.

But you'll be able to do all those things :P

Kya bolti tu?

L@$H@ said...

Disha: Plan in progress.
But it's quite a pain actually.
Especially since I'll have to commue by blue line bus, as I cant afford an auto everyday..
Plus I'll be left with no time to study.
Tough tough tough.
Yeh bolti main :(

The Hedonistaah said...

Ditto my feelings.

Its probably some kind of 'tapasya', and hopefully things'll turn better. Kabhi toh.

I always thought I was materialistic, look what happened now. :P IITD does strange things to people...

Akanksha said...

U shud be happy dat u stay atleast near ur place. Cribber :P
Nobody goes to the hostel expecting all the luxuries you have mentioned..But hostel has its own charm which you can really enjoy if u stop thinking of all the bad things u have to put up wid.I take all of it as a learning process. Expect the minimum from a hostel.I eat horrible food, wash my clothes and all those stuff..but i still manage to be decently happy somehow. Ain't i brilliant? :P

L@$H@ said...

Shuvi: Yeah man, I so totally agree with you :(

Aku: Yes, grandma, you're brilliant. :P